


maybe now

by hawrthiacoopri



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, an old fic but i love it so here it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 07:29:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14666280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawrthiacoopri/pseuds/hawrthiacoopri
Summary: bill and eddie just keep missing eachother.





	maybe now

**Author's Note:**

> i just like this. its one of my favorite things ive written. enjoy.

bill is mostly worried about confessing because hes worried he’ll stutter too much- hes anxious that he’ll start to say “eddie kaspbrak (he never stutters on eddies name anymore, he knows eddie hates it) , i luh-luh-luh-luh-” and he’ll never stop, he’ll just keep on going and going until he dies of embarrassment.. so, he practices in the mirror every day. he says his spiel of “eddie kaspbrak, i luh-luh-love you” and he knows one day he’ll get it right. with no stutter at all. but every time, today is not that day.

and eddie is nervous because he doesnt want bill to laugh at him; hes nervous bill will hear him say “ive liked you since first grade” and hell laugh and laugh and laugh at eddie, small, sickly little eddie kaspbrak, ever thinking he has a chance. he keeps trying, though, he has it all planned out: “bill, i’ve liked you since i was in the first grade. all i want is for you to love me back. can you do that? can you love me? please, billy?” 

They both see the other’s smiles and laughs and think maybe this is the moment, maybe now ill tell him, but they never do. theyre alone in the park tossing a baseball with the mitts they bought for each other- maybe ill tell him now. theyre having a sleepover for the second night in a row, watching the creature from the black lagoon on bill’s living room couch, bundled up in a blanket that’s much too small for just friends to share. maybe that’s why it seems like it shrinks each time. maybe ill tell him NOW.

but now is too far away and never soon, it seems. eddie’s voice catches in his throat and bill’s tongue ties up, and all they can do is make little passing comments that mean more than they should- ‘your hair looks great today’ or ‘id rather just go with eddie’ or ‘i hope we can get into the colleges near each other’. sometimes bill throws in an ‘i love you, man’ or a ‘youre the greatest friend ive ever had’ in there and eddie goes scarlet.

maybe they both just know what’s going on- they’re not really sure, either of them. they just know that something is holding them back from saying what they want and being really happy, letting bill just have his perfect life and eddie have what hes wanted since he was so young, too young, maybe, when he looked at bill and he just knew no one is like you and no one will ever be like you and i want to be like you. eddie always did want impossible things. BILL always wanted impossible things.

but impossible just sounds better to both of them than settle.

**Author's Note:**

> instagram- @salem.pdf
> 
> tumblr- @jewishstanuris (send requests!)
> 
> thanks for reading!  
> thanks for the support!


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